49
Wearing his pajamas all day long.
- Stable elf - Pretty obvious one…magical reindeer leave behind their own magical presents.
- Returns/Exchanges Dept - Not surprisingly, millions of people are unhappy with their gifts. If you’ve ever worked in customer service at a retail shop, you how aggravating it can be dealing with angry people. These elves have to listen to all of the dissatisfied Christians of the world.
- Air Traffic Control - Santa may be guided by magical reindeer, but they still wouldn’t stand a chance if they collided with a 737. Providing The Sleigh with a safe and stealth flight plan around the planet to every house in one night has caused more than one elf a nervous breakdown.
- Mrs. Claus’ Pedicurist - gross.
- DJ at The Arctic (The North Pole’s main club) - you know how you can get so sick of a certain song after hearing it again and again? Most people only listen to Christmas music for about five weeks. Try spinning the same damn cheery records all year long. Never mind the Christmas remixes that the young elves request on the weekends.
- Santa’s PR Rep - Santa may be a jolly ol’ soul, but that can get him into trouble as well. Covering up the messes that he creates and keeping him “clean” in the public’s eye is a stressful proposition.
- Coal Miner - Not only do these elves shoulder the burden of collecting the lumps and shattering Christmas dreams of the naughty children, but they also work under some of the harshest conditions. Every year, at least 7 elves die from either frostbite or black lung in the little-known coal reserves surrounding the North Pole.
- Santa’s Personal Trainer - This may not sound like a hard job to tackle, but making sure that the Big Guy gets enough exercise to keep him living forever, yet also maintaining that jelly belly while on a diet of only candy, hot chocolate, fruit cake, and pie is more than a science, it’s ridiculous.
- Elf who makes Pick-up Sticks - All toy making elves have a monotonous job, but this one will make you consider taking your life.
- The Mail Room - Taking the phrase, “going postal” to a whole new level.
Back to top